The 6th Seal

MessianicBeliever · Joined: 11 Nov 2007 Posts: 129

INSTALLING HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

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Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, While Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.HTML" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You

might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance . We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

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Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources. In addition , Wife 1.0 installed
itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting
and Fishing 7.5, Golfing 3.6 and Motorcycling 9.5
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and it is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also
impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once
installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the
situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to
alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 ! is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5, Do Bills 4.2 and Have Sex 8.8. Although we are having some problems with the last application and its failure to launch on a consistent basis.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens,
the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

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Computers are Like Men...

*
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
*
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
*
They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
*
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
*
They hear what you say, but not what you mean.

Computers are Like Women...

*
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
*
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
*
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
*
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
*
You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.

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Baruch haba b'shem Adonai!
(Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the L-rd)

Yeshua lives!!!

A mighty Oak is just a nut that stood his ground.......

Gods Servant · Board Mother Joined: 02 Sep 2006 Posts: 1061

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Heb 13:5b ., I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.